While writing yesterday’s message about the importance of consensus, the words of an old mentor – “it’s okay to disagree, but you should never be disagreeable”, kept playing in my head. That’s a lofty goal, often easier said than done.
· Differing opinions are good,
· As long as they don’t get emotional.
· Heated differences are harder to control,
· And often require counting to ten to cool down.
· Make it a point to respect others and their opinions.
This is also true when handling difficult conversations at work. There are usually two sides to every story and it’s important to listen and try to understand both – a little empathy here goes a long way. Don’t be so strident that you encourage others to be the same: always try to acknowledge the other’s perspective. And if there’s something to be gained by giving a little, don’t stand on principle and lose a chance at finding a win-win opportunity. It’s best to handle these in a way that (1) produces a better outcome: less pain for you, and less pain for the person you’re talking to, and (2) gets what you need from these hard conversations - while also keeping relationships intact. If there’s a win-win to be found, find it. But if not, be humble and respectful in your disagreement. Learn the art of disagreeing today.
Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 – 1990): American entrepreneur known as the publisher of Forbes magazine and an avid promoter of capitalism and free market economics
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