Don't let emotions get the best of you...

We all need friends who will tell it like it is when we’re acting stupidly. Who’ll give us good advice when we need it. And there’s usually no better time for that than when we’re riding high, thinking we know it all. Like:

 

·      When we think we’re right,

·      And nobody tells us the truth.

·      When we tell ourselves we know,

·      And fail to listen to those who know better.

·      When we ignore all the signs that are flashing,

·      And rush head long into something without thinking.

 

It’s ego. Or bullheadedness. Or foolish pride.  And it usually gets us in trouble. Like Will Smith at last weekend’s Oscar Awards: full of himself rather than humility. That’s when we need people who will tell us the truth, even when we don’t want to hear it, or believe it. Mothers the world over have always taught their children to ‘count to ten’, or ‘think twice’. When emotions start to get the better of us, we all need a trusted friend, or our mothers, to set us straight. Call a time out – like you do with your kids when they’re acting badly. Take a walk – like you tell others to do when in the grip of emotion. And always be aware that at your highest moments, you are most susceptible to your worst impulses. Write that down: forewarned is forearmed.  Keep your wits about your actions today.

 

Denzel Hayes Washington Jr. (born 1954): American actor, director, and producer.

Find your purpose...

I often talk about coming of age in the 1960s, an era that inspired me and so many others to want to do something that made a difference. The choices then were nearly endless:

 

·      Join a movement:

o   Become socially active, 

§  Head Start and the Peace Corp.

·      Become politically active:

o   Back political candidates,

§  Work for some important causes.

·      Or go to School:

o   Get a degree, or two, or three,

§  Become a professional at something.

 

I did all of that and more. And though the issues may have changed over the years, people have always been passionate about and committed to the things they believed in and inspired to make a difference. But interestingly, I discovered the satisfaction of making a difference in the lives of the people I worked with. Helping applicants discover the right jobs, coaching employees to help them find fulfilling careers, inspiring work teams be their best, and making an impact on the cultures of the companies I worked with. In my youth, it was all about supporting the right cause; in my career it was all about focusing on the people; and in my leadership roles it was about creating cultures of excellence. There’s a special purpose waiting for everyone: find what inspires you to make a difference today.

 

Madeleine Albright (1937 – 2022): Czechoslovakian-born American diplomat and political scientist who served as the 64^th (and 1^st woman) United States Secretary of State 

Take the time to get this right...

Throughout my career, young people would ask for advice about what they should do: my answer always started with asking what they liked doing. You’ll never do anything well that you don’t like doing. Sounds simple, but the answer always took some searching:

 

·      People like to do all kinds of things.

·      But there’s usually one that sticks out.

·      If there’s a job that fits, it’s a place to start.

·      Start small and work every aspect of it initially,

·      And see if your interest translates into real ability.

 

My friend Lou Adler says are the 4 different kinds of work: thinkers who produce ideas, builders that convert those ideas into reality, improvers who make ideas better, or producerswho do the work in a repeatable manner – click here to read more about what he says: (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20130502173937-15454-there-are-only-four-jobs-in-the-whole-world-are-you-in-the-right-one/).  As a young person just starting out, once you have your head around the best type for you, look for jobs in that category and seek an internship or entry level position to test out your interest and skills. But remember: long term, one without the other won’t be the one you’ll do well or want to do for the rest of your life. Focus on ones that have both, and then make one of them your life’s work today. 

 

Jóhann Gunnar Jóhannsson (1969 – 2018): Icelandic composer who wrote music for a wide array of media including theatre, dance, television, and films.

Be a servant leader...

There are all kinds of reasons why people are loyal, the least among them ‘because they have to be”. It’s a choice, based on mutual benefit, trust, and respect. Think of this in the context of work:

 

·      People need to work.

·      But not when it’s unfulfilling,

·      Or it violates their principles and values.

·      But they want honesty and trustworthiness,

·      And will respect those who treat them respectfully.

 

You can’t pay people to be loyal – it must be earned over time by your statements and actions. It’s not because you do things for them that they can’t do for themselves (like providing benefits); usually it’s that you do things for them because you can and they’re the right things to do. If they think it’s not a fair bargain, they’ll withdraw their loyalty and resign, something employees are doing in record numbers these days. Leaders should remember that just because they can do something doesn’t always mean they should – like renege on promises. But there are times that because they can, they absolutely should – like being kind and caring, ensuring employee well-being, and being a servant leader. A good deal is just that for employers and employees alike.  Create a culture of trust and respect and enjoy your employees’ loyalty today.

 

Andrew Iskander (born 1972): American medical doctor 

Stop making excuses...

As a manager, you are responsible for ensuring that those that report to you are effective. Effectiveness in this sense is much more comprehensive measure of all that they do, primarily centered around achieving objectives. And to the extent you and they are aligned on these objectives, there can and should be a robust and continuous review of how they’re doing. 

 

·      You both set the objectives.

·      Their job is to perform as expected. 

·      Yours is to supervise and coach them as needed.

·      Staying in close communications at agreed upon times.

·      Working together in openness and complete transparency.

 

It usually all goes well until it doesn’t, but that shouldn’t be a problem if those two-way lines of communication are built on performance, trust, and respect. Meaning they do what they say they’re going to do and ask for help and guidance when they run into difficulties or have questions. The big disconnect occurs when they either (1) don’t let you know, (2) don’t ask, or (3) don’t tell you the truth. If you’re the kind of manager that overreacts when your peeps run into difficulties, you may be inadvertently encouraging them to avoid you or give lame or untimely excuses. Bottom line: be the kind of leader that celebrates the good and the bad – that’s the best way I know to encourage good communications and avoid getting lame excuses today. 

 

Laura Catherine Schlessinger (born 1947): American talk radio host and author

Consider putting this rule in your employee handbook...

Over the years, I’ve written dozens of employee handbooks. In the beginning, these contained fairly standard formats that were not very exciting, and consequently they weren’t very popular or well-read: 

 

·      They were mostly filled with rules.

·      Many of them stressed what not to do.

·      They rarely bothered explaining what to do.

·      It was mostly what companies gave employees.

·      And then what was expected from them in return.

 

Over the course of writing all these handbooks, it started to dawn on me that the more rules we put in them, the more rules employees broke. The rules in those initial handbooks seemed to be used primarily to cite performance miscues on counseling notices.  That’s when I started replacing the “don’ts” cited in those rules with more positively focused “do’s” and explaining what management would do when we caught employees doing things right. Later versions of these handbooks contained fewer and fewer rules and ultimately started referencing only the Golden Rule – to treat others and their stuff the way you wanted others to treat you and your stuff. Simple and straight-forward. More positive and inspiring. But as I looked at today’s quote, the lightbulb in my head began flashing with the idea that maybe this should also be included in handbooks, right next to the Golden Rule. Think about it – a handbook that said: if it’s not right, don’t do it; and if it’s not true, don’t say it. That’s a standard we all should get behind today.

 

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121 – 180): Roman emperor from 161 to 180 and a Stoic philosopher.

Be flexible while staying true to your values...

Being an effective manager means learning the lay of the land,  being flexible, and adapting to the changing demands of the job. As with most things, a one-size-fits-all approach rarely works. At all times, remember to:

 

·      Focus on your objectives.

·      Study the facts and be adaptable,

·      Be ready and willing to make changes,

·      Learn and hone your management skills,

·      And always keep your eye on the company’s goals.

 

But, through the ups and downs and changes around us, we each must maintain high principles and standards. I know that the handbooks and policies stress this, but those are meaningless if people aren’t smart enough to know right from wrong and responsible enough to always do what’s right, no matter what. Even when it’s hard, or others ask you not to, or we think we might get away with fudging things a little when nobody’s looking. Fact is: you’ll know. And it’s your compass that’s important. Carter may be the last President to make the hard choices even though he knew it would probably deny him a second term. Are you willing to make that kind of choice? If you’re not, why should others trust you? Be willing to put your career on the line for what’s right. Be true to your values and principles today.

 

James Earl Carter Jr. (born 1924): American politician from Georgia who served as the 39th president of the United States from 1977 to 1981.

Every moment counts...

One of my neighbors died this past week – he had a stroke 6 years ago and struggled valiantly to lead some semblance of a life since. We don’t get to choose the cards we’re dealt but are ultimately defined by how we play them. He was:

 

·      Profoundly paralyzed,

·      Barely able to speak or move,

·      On dialysis multiple times per week.

·      But with a constant smile and twinkle in his eyes

·      And constantly proud of and boasting of all life had given him.

 

He was confined to a motorized wheelchair but would take himself around the block or to the local Smith’s. He was profoundly disabled but was always happy and ready with a smile and hello. I imagine he had lots of bad moments and days, but you wouldn’t know it by him: he figured whatever he had was far better than the alternative. This subject makes me recall John Kennedy’s book Profiles in Courage, but to me now, the real profiles in courage are defined by the unknown men and women who overcome adversity every day and go on to lead productive lives – quietly, unassumingly, and bravely. From them we must learn to remember that our deeds determine us as much as we determine our deeds. If you’re having a bad day, are confused by something you’re trying to do, or miffed that something didn’t go as you had hoped, stop, change your attitude, and then reapproach whatever it was you thought wasn’t good enough. Be thankful you have the opportunity to do that today.

 

Mary Ann Evans (1819 – 1880); known by her pen name George Eliot, she was an English novelist, poet, journalist, translator and one of the leading writers of the Victorian era

Admit your mistakes...

Early in my career I struggled with admitting my own faults, and I’m not proud of that. What I learned is that the quicker you realize and address thos things, the better. The dynamics of life and work demand that little white lies or big hairy mistakes (intended or unintended) be corrected as soon as possible:

 

·      Nobody’s perfect.

·      Admit it when you’re not.

·      The longer you wait, the worse it gets. 

·      Most people are forgiving if you address it.

·      But you’ll lose their trust and respect if you don’t.

 

Whether you’re unkind or worse to someone, neglect or mishandle a promise or responsibility, or just speak out of turn, the impact on others can be damaging, embarrassing, and irreparable.  It’s not like you don’t or shouldn’t know, and it’s the wrong time to stand on pride or stubbornness to try and deny it. Admit it, take your licks, say you’re sorry, fix it, and move on. If you don’t, it grows like mushrooms in the dark, and before too long your ability to work effectively with others and the interpersonal relationships you worked hard to develop will start to unravel. But if you do, you have the chance to make things right and learn from your mistakes. The memory will still sting in the quiet of the middle of the night and probably be a constant reminder never to do whatever that was again. Demonstrate your bravery and integrity by admitting your mistakes today.

 

Philip Johnson (1906 – 2005): American architect best known for his works of modern and postmodern architecture.