Make it your purpose to find consensus and support...

Goal setting usually needs a broad perspective and consensus – without those you might miss what’s best. Don’t try coming up with them entirely on your own – this is another example where two heads are better that one. I like to develop them within a framework that analyses them against driving forces (the things that currently exist to support them) and restraining forces (the things that will work against achievement unless addressed). When you understand those, you can begin to devise initiatives to develop and implement your goals successfully. The key being a broad consensus of support – without that you won’t win hearts and drive engagement; with them life takes on meaning and you become motivated and charge after them in an unstoppable manner. You don’t want too many people that are ambivalent or opposed to your goals – that’s not fair to you or them. Just because you think your goals are right doesn’t make them so – you need a plurality (usually more than 60%) to create the momentum you want and need. 51%/49% isn’t good enough. Getting to 60%+ takes work, lots of listening, honest discussions, and the give and take of consensus. You're responsible for coming up with goals that excite most everyone today.

 

Leslie Calvin Brown (born 1945): American politician and motivational speaker. He was a member of the Ohio House of Representatives from 1977 to 1981.

Make every day a day of Thanksgiving...

I know I have much to be thankful for. Sometimes I don’t feel that way but then I just stop and look around and remind myself. And when I see others who may not be so fortunate, I tell myself to find ways to share my good fortune. On this day of Thanksgiving, don’t just count your blessings, but find ways to make your blessings count. 

·      Smile and say hi to everyone you meet. 

·      Say thank you to anyone and everyone.

·      Wish everyone well as they go on their way.

·      Give a little extra in everything you do. 

·      Tell those you love how you feel about them.

Make every day a day of Thanksgiving. Starting today.

 

Neal Ash Maxwell (1926 – 2004): American scholar, educator, and religious leader who served as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).

You are what you do...

I always thought that you’re only as good as the last thing you’ve done - something that defined you, good or bad. But if you look at it this way, you’re only as good as the best thing you’ve ever done – regardless of how good it really was. Either way, we’re judged by what we say and do. That judgment may be immediate, or long after we’re gone… but it’ll happen, and you shouldn’t be so cavaliere about it. You won’t live forever, but your legacy will. And try as you might, you can’t pass that off to someone else; it’s yours and you own it. It’ll be built around how honest and honorable you are, whether you have character or are a character, how you treat people – all of them, not just the ones you need, and whether you do good things even when nobody is looking. It not like making a speech… a legacy doesn’t pander to a crowd. So, think long and hard about the best thing you’ll ever do… and remember, it’s not what you do for yourself but what you do for those in need. Not in need of you, but the good you can do. And it doesn’t have to be big and splashy, just something that’s basically good. That’ll stand the test of time. So, do your best every time. Starting today.

 

Billy Wilder (1906 – 2002): Austria-Hungary born American filmmaker and screenwriter who is regarded as one of the most brilliant and versatile filmmakers of Classic Hollywood cinema. 

Don't be too big to care...

Everyone’s different, and yet most go through ups and downs throughout their lives. Some good, some bad, lots in between, and all of it personal. That alone should be enough to convince most that we’re all sort of equal. Anyone feeling superior to others doesn’t understand that, or care. As good as something is, there’s always better; and as for the bad, there can always be worse. Nobody should be so full of themselves that they don’t see or understand that. When I cut the tips of two fingers off, the paramedics and doctors that first night at the hospital told me it could have been so much worse; to me, of course, at that point nothing could have been worse. Since then, I’ve joined a private FB group for and about finger and hand amputees – and every day I see and realize how lucky I am and what worse could have been. And it’s that way about everything – people walking around feeling bad for themselves… it’s up to the rest of us to care, to listen, to cheer them up, to help then discover different perspectives, and to be there when needed. They may not know or realize it, but you should, so be aware, be patient, be kind, be there. If they open up, you’re there; if not, give them time and your patience. The most important person is the one who’s there when someone needs them. Get ready for that by realizing that your true life is the one you end up with, whatever that may be. Just do the best you can with what you’ve got. And then help someone realize that today.

 

Anne Tyler (born 1941): American novelist, short story writer, literary critic, and Pulitzer Prize winner.

Love thy neighbor as thyself...

There are lots of ideas about what making things better means – I was taught that the answers came when everyone worked together to figure out what was best for all. I’m not sure anyone knows what’s good for everyone – it’s complicated, but it shouldn’t be about making it good for some and not for others. In the end, we’re all responsible – to listen to all ideas, to give and take (the essence of consensus), and to work together to make things as good as they can be. As many know, I’m an old folkie, coming of age in the 50s and 60s when music fired our souls – I can’t help but recall words like: “we prayed for those in need and sang songs to end all greed”[1], or “there but for fortune go you or I”[2]. Every generation has its passions, and so do we all; but in the clarity of hindsight, we learn that there are no absolute truths. But one that we might all agree on is “love thy neighbor as thyself”[3] – with that, we might all contribute in some way to making things better. Be responsible for that today.

 

Robert Francis “Bobby” Kennedy (1925 – 1968): also known by his initials RFK, was an American lawyer and politician (US Attorney General and US Senator from New York).

---

[1] From the song “I Won’t Sing Here Anymore” by Koonce, Ross, and Fraser

[2] From the song “There But for Fortune” by Phil Ochs

[3] Matthew 22:36-40 - King James Version

We're all judged in real time...

I stress to the new leaders I coach about the realities of their new role – it’s both challenging and rewarding. The thing is a leader is under a microscope every day – their employees (or followers) remember everything they do and say and judge them accordingly in real time. That’s all they really have to go on when deciding whether this is someone they can trust, respect, and be loyal to. Like all service employees, a new leader has only one chance to make a good impression. That’s why the concept of servant leadership resonates in the workplace – employees appreciate leaders who place their employee’s interests ahead of their own. But whatever style a leader chooses, it will be assessed every day, and if their actions don’t live up to their words, they will be deemed to have nothing important to say.  Those same new leaders quickly realize that they are never able to let down, speak off the record, or joke around – everything is looked at and often recorded. It can be a dilemma for those who play fast and loose, but those with common sense, an ethical conscience, and a desire for honesty and fair play can be successful.  If you’re a new leader, read up on ethics and integrity, study the do’s and don’ts of your company’s policies, find a mentor you trust, and take advantage of any training and coaching available. Be careful to match what you say and do. And give your employees reasons to trust, respect, and be loyal to you today.

 

DaShanne Stokes (born 1978): American author, sociologist, public speaker, and pundit. 

Respect is a two-way street...

Leaders may ask for loyalty, but they can’t demand it: it must be earned. And that’s sometimes a hard lesson for an inexperienced or unethical individual who’s in that role. There are countless examples of business leaders who fail because they don’t earn the respect, trust, and loyalty of those they lead. Sometimes they’re bullies, seeking to force people to do things that make no sense or worse. Or they fail to listen to those who may know more than they do. Or they’re screamers who don’t like it when they don’t get their way, even when their way makes no sense or worse. Or they believe they’re the smartest person in any room, even with evidence to the contrary. Those kinds of leaders feel superior and believe only in themselves; humble and secure leaders appreciate and believe in others. As a recruiter, I often ask candidates what they’re looking for in their next supervisor – genuine interest, trust, respect, and collaboration are the most frequent answers. If they find those attributes, they remain happily and productively employed, and freely give their loyalty; if not, they leave. And that’s happening more and more these days as the workforce becomes younger – they are not willing to suffer a foolish leader. The moral of this story: trust and respect others to earn their loyalty today.

 

János Hugo Bruno "Hans" Selye (1907 – 1982): Hungarian-Canadian endocrinologist who conducted important scientific work on the hypothetical non-specific response of an organism to stressors.

Don't be so quick to say "no"...

The construct of any governing or managing body or system depends on loyal opposition engaging with the majority in ways that bring out the best of consensus. As in “two heads are better than one”. The same holds true for organizational structures that bring diverse skills and perspectives meant to create strong discussions and stronger solutions. I realize that many believe they alone are right and that discussions are an unnecessary bother, but without it there’s no telling if the results are in fact the best. In our consulting, we often frame the need for and benefits of critical thinking, found less in telling than in listening, based less in certainty than in curiosity, and sharpened less because of little use than by constant whetting of the creative stone.  Active disagreement in a thoughtful and responsible way allows for critical analysis and potential improvement through constructive engagement. It’s less about criticism than it is a means of achieving excellence. It’s less about loyalty to a party, platform, person, or cause than it is to the common good (of a country or company). Ask yourself whether you’d rather be right or happy – the latter is situational and fleeting, the first is something worth working towards. And it’s not about winning or losing (although that’s a popular notion), it’s about creating something that is the best for all. In this light, it’s about being loyal to the notion of being intelligently, conscientiously, and respectfully engaged today.

 

Bainbridge Colby (1869 – 1950): American politician and attorney who was a co-founder of the United States Progressive Party and Woodrow Wilson's last Secretary of State.

Don't abuse the trust you're given...

Throughout our lives we associate with so many people – in all walks of life, near and far. And these associations create a tapestry of connections that weave throughout everything we do. So, for the most part we must rely on others. We watch and listen, we interact and react, and build up expectations – trusting they’ll do what they say, act with integrity, communicate when they can’t, and respect the incredibly complex set of interrelationships that keep thing going as promised. It’s crazy to think it will all go accordingly, but it’s a surprise, and a hurt when it doesn’t. When that happens, things start to fray and unwind because it’s hard to continue to trust once someone’s broken this faith. And because things are moving so quickly it’s hard to get back to a point where you can reestablish that trust. But I’m not naïve; it happens – to all of us, and sometimes by all of us. This is where communication, maybe over communication, comes in – let others know when and why you can’t or won’t, pick up the phone and do it person to person (nothing’s worse than learning about this second hand), and then work extra hard to apologize and try to get it back. It’s bad enough when it happens… but worse when it’s followed by a cavalier attitude. Nobody likes the first, but everyone should hate the second. Work hard to live up to the trust that others have placed in you today.

 

William Shakespeare (1564 – 1616): English playwright, poet, and actor. He is widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist.

Don't let loyalties come between us...

This week’s messages will be about loyalty – something we usually associate with companies and their customers, and what they do to keep them coming back for more. But in our greater society, loyalty sometimes is associated with politics. Neither is necessarily bad so long as we appreciate and respect a personal choice that shouldn’t be termed good or bad – it is what it is, so long as it’s vied for honestly. As in, say what you mean, mean what you way, and do what you promise. During my formative years, truth in advertising was the rule, and I think it still should hold true. No confusion. No obfuscation. If you like what you hear, you offer your loyalty; if not, it’s a free world. And a competitive one, where the easiest and most powerful way to increase loyalty from anyone is really very simple. Make them happy. And know that they get to vote with their feet. I vote that we keep this in the marketplace – where it involves companies and their products and services and customers, not in the world of politics, where it can get between families, friends, neighborhoods, and communities. That way we can work hard and still be friends today.

 

Kevin Stirtz (born 1963):  American marketing pro known as ‘the Amazing Service Guy’, a speaker and trainer who helps companies increase revenue and profits by delivering amazing service.

Everyone is trying to find their way - be kind...

As you know, I search for quotes to use with these daily messages – they give insight and hopefully impetus to our individual self-improvement efforts and provide a general theme for each respective message. I usually know of each author and in many cases am familiar with the quote – but not today. The story of St. Ambrose is fascinating (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambrose) and the quote is more instructive than many. It’s the kind of statement a parent might discuss with their children and ask how it might affect their behavior; it’s one that I might use in a management class on professionalism and ask my student’s how it might be applied at work; and it’s one we might discuss with each other in search of ways to be better human beings. There are far too many instances in real life of talking down to others, mocking them, and being too full of ourselves – nothing good or productive comes from those kinds of selfish and thoughtless acts. The sooner people learn that no one heals him or herself by wounding another, the better off everyone and every interaction will be. I’d have loved to put this in the employee handbooks I created to go along with the Golden Rule I included in some of the later and more enlightened ones. Because the more we treat others the way we each want to be treated, the better our world will be. Heal yourself by healing others today.

 

Ambrose of Milan (339 – 397), venerated as Saint Ambrose, was a theologian and statesman who served as Bishop of Milan from 374 to 397. His preaching, his actions and his literary works, in addition to his innovative musical hymnography, made him one of the most influential ecclesiastical figures of the 4th century.

Teach your children (and your employees) well...

bully

bul·ly

/ˈbo͝olē/

verb

   gerund or present participle: bullying

1.     seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable). 

2.     the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing, comments, or threats, to abuse, aggressively dominate, or intimidate one or more others. 

3.     this behavior is often repeated and habitual.

 

When I was young, I was usually the shortest, and sometimes the heaviest kid in the groups of friends I hung around with. I got my share of taunting – sometimes good naturedly, sometimes not. From there, it was hard to find a path to being cool. But my parents encouraged me to shake it off and prove my mettle by hard work and perseverance. I learned and adapted, but it wasn’t easy or fun. So, I’m especially sensitive to bullying and in my professional life intervened whenever I saw it, not by force but rather by helping those participating in the abuse to stop and learn from each other. But I’m not naïve – it happens often, and it takes role models to thwart and re-direct that behavior. As leaders, we must learn to be aware of how others are feeling and to bring people together to learn about each other and build relationships. Everyone wants to feel accepted – and this goes equally for the bully and the bullied. Never overlook this form of abuse – if you don’t accept it, it can’t flourish. Use your standing, stature, and life experience to teach people to be kind and respectful to others. Despite whatever else is going on, use your place in the workplace to make it the best place to address this ugly behavior today. 

 

Caroline Bouvier Kennedy (born 1957): American author, diplomat, and attorney; she served as the United States ambassador to both Australia and Japan.

Support diversity of thought...

                moral authority

                        noun

                            : trustworthiness to make decisions that are right and good

 

There are many different opinions about what is right and good. That’s called diversity of thought, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Meaning we all should respect each other’s point of view. Respect being the operative word. And the standard everyone should be held to is honesty – honest about what they say and do. No need to make up stories trying to support your view – that tends to diminish its truthfulness and your standing. If something is true, let it stand on that. And if someone believes it, don’t try to demean them – that only demeans you. And just because someone has a different view doesn’t make them bad… or necessarily wrong. Regardless, it should never come between family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. You may respectfully disagree, but you should never be disagreeable. Because whatever else is going on, how we act at work – with our company, colleagues, and customers, must be based a moral authority that comes from following timeless principles like honesty, integrity and treating people with respect. Leave your differences at the door and build on the common goals that unite you and your colleagues. Keep the workplace as a bastion of moral authority today.

 

Stephen R. Covey (1932 – 2012): American educator, author, businessman, and speaker. His most popular book is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Be respectable and respectful if you want to be respected...

eth·ics

/ˈeTHiks/

noun

1.     moral principles that govern a person's behavior or the conducting of an activity.

2.    the branch of knowledge that deals with moral principles.

 

Similar:

moral code morals morality moral stand moral principles moral values rights and wrongs

principles ideals creed credo rules of conduct standards (of behavior) virtues dictates of conscience

 

When we conduct workshops on how to be an effective coach, the thing I stress most is that it’s all about the person being coached. A coach is supposed to help the person being coached to discover what he or she needs. A coach is different than a mentor, who helps others to become more like the mentor. This distinction surprises lots of people – mostly because they like telling people what to do rather than listening to what others want or need. Coaches must have the integrity to focus on the person being coached, the ethics to behave honorably, and a sense of fairness that treats others the way they want and should be treated. Because their role is to focus on others, not themselves. That’s why Vince Lombardi and John Wooden were such successful sports coaches and why Abraham Lincoln, Harry Truman, and Ronald Reagan were great and respected politicians – none of them were in it for themselves, but for the selfless betterment of others. Not just for one season or election, but for the long term. Virtues, values, ideals, and principles were their guides. Great leaders are the same – in my business, Bill Harrah, Sam Boyd, Kirk Kirkorian, and Bobby Baldwin were great while leading and have stood the test of time to become renowned. In your role as a coach or leader, have good beliefs and values, a sense of fairness, and a well-developed conscience that you listen to. If you want to be remembered tomorrow, start by being respectable, respectful, and respected by all today.

 

Ross L. Wilson (born 1955): American diplomat who served as the chargé d'affaires of the United States to Afghanistan, the U.S. ambassador to Turkey, and the U.S. ambassador to Azerbaijan.

Be a good example...

in·teg·ri·ty

/inˈteɡrədē/

noun

noun: integrity

1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

"he is known to be a man of integrity"

 Similar:

honesty uprightness probity rectitude honor honorableness upstandingness good character principle(s)

ethics morals righteousness morality nobility high-mindedness right-mindedness noble-mindedness virtue decency fairness scrupulousness sincerity truthfulness trustworthiness

Opposite:

dishonesty

Leading by example is one of the first things I learned as professional – as a Key Club International board member in 1967, this was the theme we promoted to members of this high school service organization. It continued as I worked towards my BS in Industrial and Labor Relations at Cornell and influenced me to begin my career in human resources. It’s what I taught the more than 5500 leaders I hired and coached during my professional career and is the cornerstone of my consulting practice. Integrity, ethics, honesty, compassion, and commitment are the behaviors we sought to instill in employees, mostly by having their leaders practice them. No different than what my parents sought to instill in me by practicing them in our family life. No different than what all leading religions seek to instill in their members. No different than what we put in our handbooks. Or teach our children. Now, more than ever, we all need to practice these behaviors with each other. Everywhere. With everyone. All the time. Starting today.

 Himanshu “Sue” Bhatia (born in New Delhi, India): Architect and business executive, President of Rose International, a leader in contingent staffing solutions for IT.

Think and decide for yourself...

I’ve always loved Robbins’ writing – some of the first wacky books I ever read - but as goofy as his characters and stories are, each makes an important point. Like the importance of curiosity. He makes readers question their beliefs – not to change them, but to make you examine them – sometimes to change, other times to reaffirm them. In living your life – whether on a personal or professional level, it’s best not to take yourself too seriously; that often stifles your ability to see things clearly and/or differently, and to learn and grow. Absent that, you’re apt to get into a rut, thinking there’s little left to learn. And that’s how you potentially lose out on some important ah-ha moments. So, don’t take everything at face value, look more closely at what’s said and done, think for yourself, and draw your own conclusions. Curiosity and intellectual inquisitiveness separate the truly alive from those who are merely going through the motions. Like Robbins, look more closely at the obvious and you might find something that gets your heart pumping – don’t be afraid to decide for yourself what’s real or best. That’s where real innovation and success happen today. 

 

Tom Robbins (born 1932): American novelist (see below) known for writing "seriocomedies" (also known as "comedy drama"):   

   

 Nonfiction

·       Guy Anderson (monograph—16 pages of biographical notes within a collection of Anderson's work) (1965)

·       Tibetan Peach Pie: A True Account of an Imaginative Life (autobiography) (2014)

    Novels

·       Another Roadside Attraction (1971)

·       Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1976)

·       Still Life with Woodpecker (1980)

·       Jitterbug Perfume (1984)

·       Skinny Legs and All (1990)

·       Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas (1994)

·       Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates (2000)

·       Villa Incognito (2003)

    Collections

·       Wild Ducks Flying Backward (2005) — a collection of essays, reviews, and short stories.

    Novellas

·       B Is for Beer (2009)