Giving Back         

I’ve been a member of the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) for more than 20 years. This association of over 250,000 members is where people like me go for professional information, networking, discussion, education and certification. For many years I was a volunteer leader and served at both the local and national levels on many of the SHRM committees and Boards. And much like the volunteer service that many give to non-profit organizations and causes that are near and dear to them, it’s wasn’t about getting paid – it was about giving back to something that’s important to you.


I’ve also served on the Boards of for-profit organizations too, and for that I’ve gotten paid – but that’s a whole different thing. Because non-profits operate for the good of others and not solely for the purpose of making a profit (although in today’s economy they certainly have to pay their own way), organizations like United Way, Big Brothers and Big Sisters, Public Radio and TV, the YMCA, the Humane Society, local Food Banks or Coops, and organizations that assist people with special needs all rely on committed men and women who want to serve and make their communities better. And that was the deal with SHRM: I was inspired by the volunteer leaders I met when I joined that organization and attended meetings, conferences and events; I was guided in my interests by these volunteer leaders when I thought about giving back to SHRM and I followed their lead when asked to serve. I was doing something for the greater good of my profession and the people I served with became both friends and role models for me. Long meetings, lots of phone calls, immense satisfaction and great friendship – these were what it was all about; we were managing good things, creating new things and making old things better. We were stewards of this great association and our reward was in knowing that others “got their money's worth."  Pretty cool!

After more than a dozen years of serving on many different SHRM related boards, I gladly stepped aside so others could have that same experience – after all, someone did the same for me. But those who came after me were guided not by the people who had built the organization but rather by other professional volunteers who seemed to be more concerned about themselves than the organization. Things like Board pay – in my day there was no such thing, but these new folks felt that they should get paid for their time. Things like upgraded business class travel – I clearly remember flying in the back of the plane. But guess what: I’m not sure that’s what volunteer participation is about. Webster defines volunteer as “doing charitable or helpful work without pay”. Maybe this is what it takes to get volunteers these days but I suspect that there are many professional members of SHRM who would gladly serve for nothing, the same way my colleagues and I did for so many years.

When asked about these policy changes, the new leadership of SHRM evades the questions. When asked why dues are going up, they cite inflationary issues rather than these kinds of new expenses. When asked for the meaning of volunteerism, they can’t look anyone in the eye and answer with a straight face. In short, they act as though they can’t be trusted. And because the members understand what’s going on, they feel that maybe they really can’t trust their leaders. Not a good situation.

Add to the mix the fact that most of the former volunteer leaders of SHRM are raising the same questions. And so it’s no surprise how the current leadership is feeling and acting. Evasive answers, misstatements, self-serving new policies and a general lack of transparency - these could threaten this venerable association. Too bad. The people who now are leading SHRM are policy wonks and communications wizards – but when the SHRM members see this kind of behavior, they sense that something is rotten and beginning to smell. These same members are the people who in their non-SHRM positions are forced to give straight answers every day in all of their organizations, and so they want that same level of treatment from their professional Association’s leaders. They want to trust, but suspect that they are not getting enough to earn it.

And now the annual conference of SHRM is about to get under way in Las Vegas and I suspect that what happens in Las Vegas next week may not stay in Vegas. So when faced with these questions in that public forum, I suggest the current “volunteer” leaders of SHRM reflect on what their mothers used to say to them: “Honesty is the best policy”; “Do the right thing” and “Always say “I’m sorry”.

I don’t often write about stuff like this, but this issue has been on my mind. My quotes and message this week are about ownership and responsibility and that got me thinking about this. The current leaders of SHRM aren’t thinking like owners, they’re not acting responsibly, and they are not engendering the trust and respect that those who empower them with the authority to lead the Association for them expect. Over the past several months these blogs have talked about leadership, responsibility, professionalism and character – as we look out over the national landscape, those values aren’t as abundant as we might hope they’d be. Who knows – maybe some of these SHRM leaders are influenced in some small way by this lack of values. If that’s the case they may want to look out over the horizon and see the democratic voices sweeping the Mideast or look back at the most recent midterm elections here in the US – I think there’s a general demand for accountability and sensibility from those who want leaders they can believe in and trust. Maybe that’s too big a thing to expect. Maybe not.

So, here’s my quote and message for this week:

“Think like a customer and act like an owner.” -John Silliman Dodge            

John Silliman Dodge has a 30-year career that spans and integrates music, media, marketing and management. He's a graduate of Ohio University's School of Telecommunications and has been a recording artist and a Creative Director/Production Manager.

What does an owner think about? Developing a plan of where you want to go and how to get there (vision and mission). Hiring the right people, listening to them and then letting them do what they do best (builds morale). Paying the bills and all the responsibilities that go along with that (shows respect). Reducing inefficiency and waste and making sure that everything is put to best use (go Green). Limiting unnecessary expenses by turning out lights and reusing things (being frugal). Having enough customers who appreciate you because you appreciate them (planning for the future). Doing the right thing (creating trust and learning from your experiences). These all add up to being a person that others can rely upon because they’re responsible, believable, trustworthy and focused. And if you do these well, you’ll have time to learn your customers’ likes and dislikes and needs and the things they consider when deciding whether to come back again. Think and act like an owner today – the people who are depending on you will appreciate that.

Stay Well!

Nobody Loves Everybody


I’m new to big city life and the unbelievable volume of graffiti that is just about everywhere here. On the sides of bridges and high up on buildings (how do they get there), on walls adjacent to railroad tracks (I thought that third rail was enough to keep people out of those areas), on glass and windows and even on stoops and curbs. And on one curb I saw the words Nobody Loves Everybody – and that got me thinking.

I get the fact that some of these taggers (hey, do I know my lingo) are hugely creative – if you don’t believe me just check out the figures they draw, the pseudo-signatures they use and the scope of their work. There was an article about this in the New York Times that suggests graffiti may actually be more mainstream than anybody thought

But I wasn’t aware that some of these works could be so deeply emotive - Nobody Loves Everybody certainly is that. So how does a kid with a can of spray paint get to know something like this? Maybe he or she heard someone else say it, maybe it’s even a common phrase used on the street or it could have been in a movie or sitcom and just stuck with them. In any case, to spray it on a stoop or curb is an interesting way to spread a thought.

Forget about the fact that there are geniuses and agencies who labor hard to get some brand or snippet across to the public – this guerrilla marketing tactic (another street term) is far more direct, and may in fact go viral (I’m on a roll here) more quickly than other more commonly used tactics. So I did a little informal survey – I asked several people who had walked past this Nobody Loves Everybody statement if they saw it and what they thought: 11 out of 17 answered “yes”. Conclusion: this tagger’s work was pretty effective in conveying the message.

I remember in College there was bridge that ran over a deep ravine – and painted on the rocks below: When you’re dead, you’re dead! Pretty effective anti-suicide campaign – and in fact it was talked about widely because the suicide rate at Cornell actually did go down that year. But that’s a straight forward and targeted message aimed at a very specific problem. Getting back to the here and now in Brooklyn, this broad yet thoughtful Nobody Loves Everybody is not so straight forward. Here’s my take on it:

• We all care for some but not for everyone and that’s ok. In the end, however, you should be kind and respectful to all.

• It’s okay not to love everyone – that would be too much to ask. But make sure that the ones you do love know about it.

• Maybe it’s a challenge to really understand your true feelings and to act accordingly. Because if you don’t, then you and others lose.

• Be confident in your true feelings and let them show. All anyone can ask is for your honesty and openness.

So if my half-baked sample was at all indicative, then let me extrapolate a bit more: we’re all on this planet for a reason and how we act towards others is important. And whether we care or don’t care about someone, it should be for the right reasons and we should act accordingly and appropriately. It’s only right and fair, and it’s how we want others to treat us. I guess this is how people really get along, especially in someplace as densely populated as New York City. But whether you’re here or in some other less populated area, as a fellow traveler on life’s journey it’s important to be honest, real and considerate. I’m not saying you have to go get a can of spray paint – how you speak and act should do it.

My quote and message this week are about taking responsibility for and ownership of the things you do:

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 –1945) was a German Lutheran pastor and theologian. He was also a participant in the German resistance movement against Nazism and a founding member of the Confessing Church. He was one of the few church leaders who stood in courageous opposition Adolph Hitler and his policies.

What are you thinking about today? Every day brings lots of thoughts and at the end of the day how much do you have to show for it? You have to be ready when thoughts happen: sometimes you think of things, sometimes others think of them for you and other times you’re just around when things come up. Doesn’t matter – you have to be ready for everything. Being ready means being responsible enough to do what’s needed – preparing for and treating things as if you own them, approaching what you do thoughtfully and creatively and dealing with everything effectively and appropriately. No matter what you do, others will notice and they’ll make judgments about you and you’ll end up with a reputation (good or bad). So be ready today for whatever happens today; do what you have to do today to be the best you can be today; own your actions today.

Stay Well!

The Milkman Revisited

Eddie Lee

Every week I keep an eye out for interesting things to share; but this week I feel compelled to revisit a topic from two weeks ago that many of you commented on. It seems that my reference to “the milkman” stirred a lot of memories and your comments have sent me into a bit of a reverie. So let me tell you a little bit more about my ‘milkman’.



Eddie Lee was his name. He had one of those old panel trucks with Dairylea painted on the side. Dairylea was the dairyman’s cooperative league in central New York and I guess they employed guys like Eddie to promote their products. He was a neatly dressed (I remember some kind of dark uniform) and always wore a hat and tie. But more than that, he also always wore a smile. We had one of those metal boxes that sat outside the back door and in which he’d leave the milk and whatever else my mother ordered. Eddie delivered all of our dairy products even though I recall Mom going to the grocery store for many other things (remember the A&P and the P&C). And even though we called him the Milkman, he really brought so much more because he always delivered the milk with a smile and never left without asking if there’s anything else we needed. Whoever thought that world-class service was a more recent thing didn’t know Eddie.



Cheese, butter, eggs, cream cheese, eggnog, cottage cheese, heavy cream, sour cream – you name it, if it was a dairy product he had it along with the milk. And even though he had a preprinted order form that we could fill out and leave for him, he always seemed to be around to talk about our family, his family and our other needs. He was almost like a part of the family – I even think I asked if he could come to my bar-mitzvah. And it’s not like we had a succession of milkmen – he was it; I believe he started the route and retired when that kind of business went out of fashion in the mid-60s. I’m sure he was just an employee (more like an extension) of that dairy league, but to me it seemed that he was part of the team that fed and milked the cows, drove the trucks in the mornings after picking up the milk at the barn, pasteurized the milk so we wouldn’t get sick and all the others things that went into that business so that the milk got to our house cold and fresh. They all came together in his personalized service – with a smile – that we just don’t see much of today. Hey, I go into food stores today and the staff there can’t even tell me where the dairy section is! Guys like Eddie Lee loomed large in our world back then – he knew our birthdays, when we were graduating from something, whether we were sick (and if we were feeling better) and even conveyed messages and information from house to house in the neighborhood.



It was pretty cool, it made us feel good and it’s probably why all us baby boomers love shows like Happy Days, I Love Lucy, The Wonder Years and Laverne and Shirley. If I’m not careful, next I’ll be sitting out on the stoop and staring off into the middle distance of long ago memories. But before I do that I need to slap myself and remember that the great things we experienced and learned along the way could and should be rolled out whenever those best practices fit our everyday needs. Great ideas, whether retro or new, should never be ignored; great improvements, whether to fix something or start something new, should always be considered and great service – the kind where real people are concerned about and address the needs of other real people – should be part of how we live and work and act. Forget about the fact that we can’t go back; we can certainly remember the good and make sure we use it in our everyday lives, every day. The things we do – whether alone or a part of a larger team – always need to take into account the best of everything we’ve done and experienced and learned along the way. I’m not sure we will ever go back to tipping out hats like Eddie used to, but we should never forget or ignore what we all learned from people like “the Milkman”. Thanks to all the Eddie Lees in all of our lives!

My quote and message this week is about teamwork and team spirit – the key ingredients you need to have a successful recipe.

"Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.” -Casey Stengel

Charles Dillon "Casey" Stengel (1890 –1975), nicknamed "The Old Perfessor", was an American Major League Baseball outfielder, manager and often-quoted punster. He was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1966.

Are you a good player or a team member or both? The answer is that you should try to be both. You certainly have to have the skills and abilities to make the team (or get a job or join a group) and these will be some of what you need to be successful. But if you and the others you’re with don’t pool and leverage these, then you and the others won’t be playing or working as successfully as you could. It’s only when everyone merges their collective talents that you all have the chance to win. Stengel managed lots of teams and his greatest successes were with the ones that had the individual talent AND the collective will to work together. Finding others to work or play with you is easy but getting you all to where you need to be in order to win at what you’re doing takes hard work and a collective commitment to excellence. Play as part of a team today and help write a successful story.

Stay Well!

April Showers Bring May Flowers

“April showers bring May flowers.” We’ve all heard this rhyme, usually having been taught it at an early age by our parents or teachers. It’s a popular thing to say and hear around the springtime, but where did this rhyme come from?

In 1557 a gentleman by the name of Thomas Tusser compiled a collection of writings he called A Hundred Good Points of Husbandry. In the April Husbandry section he wrote:

      “Sweet April showers, Do spring May flowers”

So, I guess this means there have been a lot of spring showers since at least 1557. But what do I know – after living in Las Vegas and then Laguna Beach for the past 30 years, I’d forgotten about cold or rain. In the past six months here in New York City I’ve noticed people putting up with all kinds of miserable weather - this past winter is now being referred to as the coldest, snowiest and longest in a long time and spring was said to be the wettest in decades. Rain every day for a month, cold and gray every day for that month too. So, April showers merged into May showers, and not much in the way of flowers were to be found. And then came June.

The sun came out: the grass has taken off and is growing like, well, a weed; the blooms and leaves on the trees have sprouted overnight and look nearly full-grown and what about the flowers and vegetables – let’s just say that in the past two weeks our tomato plants have grown to nearly my height. This unbelievable growth is unfortunately matched by the growth of allergies too – itchy eyes, runny noses and stuffy sinuses seem to be the rule and not the exception.

I had forgotten how much of a change this could be.  From trees that were bare, lawns that were brown, flower beds that needed a good raking – these have been replaced by the natural growth that softens the landscape and feeds the world. It’s an impressive sight – dandelions and buttercups dot the grasses, trees with all kinds of leaves and flowers, vegetable and flower gardens adorn every patch of dark brown soil. Nearly every street here in Brooklyn is lined with trees and each tree has a neat little enclosure that is filled with flowers and shrubs. And driving along the highways and byways throughout the East is accompanied by a riot of growth of grasses, trees and forests. A month ago I could look through the trees and see the depth of these forests - today I can’t see more than a few feet into the dense growth. It’s a glorious landscape and it clearly shows the renewable nature of nature.

It’s at times like these that I’m thrilled to be alive.  It’s at times like these that the growth around us inspires the growth within us. It’s at times like these that our place in the continuum of the universe is impressively apparent. Most of the time we live in our own little worlds, we notice little more than what’s immediately around us and we take life for granted. But in this time of spring growth, when the showers inevitably lead to the flowers, that’s when we truly acknowledge and join the greater community that surrounds our lives.  Enjoy this late Spring – and even though Memorial Day marks the unofficial start of Summer, there’s still a few more weeks before those lazy hazy days replace these days of wonderful growth. Enjoy these days and let them fill you with the wonder and pride of renewal and personal growth.

All of this reminds me of these words by George Harrison and the Beatles:

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right…

My message and quote this week is about quietly and calmly letting your sun shine through:

“When one man, for whatever reason, has the opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself.” -Jacques Cousteau

Jacques-Yves Cousteau (1910 – 1997) was a French naval officer, explorer, ecologist, filmmaker, innovator, scientist, photographer, author and researcher who studied the sea and all forms of life in water.

Are you leading an extraordinary life? Some lead lives of quiet desperation (so said Thoreau) but that doesn’t mean we all can’t dream of better days and things to come. And when we accomplish more, when we achieve greater things, when we rise up above our normal selves, that’s a time when we can and should feel full of excitement and pride. That’s a time when we should share our new-found realities with our family and friends and colleagues. Because truth be told, these personal triumphs inspire others to try harder, to care more, to work longer, to dream bigger and to get up on our tiptoes and look out over the horizon for the next big thing. It’s hard to believe that the rain will stop, the sun will come out, the blossoms will bloom and the birds will sing – but if we can see these changes in others, then we can begin to hope and dream ourselves. Find your successes and share them with others today – you have no right to keep them to yourself.

Stay Well!

Do You Remember the Milkman?

Remember the Milkman?

05.27.2011 // Arte Nathan, Authors, The Arte of Motivation 

When I was a kid I remember the Paperboy, the Milkman, the old man in a truck that used to go around the neighborhood selling vegetables, the Breadman and the family that had an old Farm-all tractor they came around with to plow the driveway when it snowed. These were real jobs that real people had and they were proud of them. And before you say to yourself “those were the days”, hear this: I see some of that same spirit and dedication today.

• When I walk my crazy dogs in the early morning I see the guy who delivers The New York Times. He drives a Ford Explorer and with a flick of the wrist he’s able to propel each delivery onto the right stoops. I met him one day when he had his son with him – they were having a great time and he told me he does this before his regular job to earn a little extra money.
• As I ride the railroad each day I’ve gotten to know the various conductors who make sure we all have the right tickets. They also make sure we have the right information to get where we’re going. All day long on their feet and they’re always positive and efficient.
• The Asian couple that runs a takeout Chinese restaurant in my neighborhood and the Lebanese family that runs the local Mediterranean restaurant – they’re there every long day to make sure all of us get what we ordered. No fast food places in our neighborhood and nobody wonders why.
• There’s an Ethiopian family on the corner and they fix flat tires. No drive-in bays there – just tires piled high alongside their building and several portable jacks. They work hard and are always happy to fix whatever ails your tires.
• As for the milk and bread and vegetables – now we can order online and two very happy brothers show up later that day with everything in a box from the new and oh-so-efficient cyber Grocery Store. And they even go through it with us to make sure we got everything we ordered.

I’ve met every one of these folks – went up and introduced myself and thanked them for what they do and how they do it.  They’re real people doing real jobs too. To some, they may be nameless functionaries working for a long list of providers but to me they are hard-working people who make sure people like me have what we need. They join the ticket takers, doormen, elevator operators, truck drivers, food servers, clerks behind counters, phone operators, bus drivers, secretaries, bank tellers and so many more who work quietly and happily in this and every other city. They are every bit as good as those people from so long ago who seem better only because we view them through the lens of long-ago memories. Open your eyes – kindness, excellence and diligence are all around us still.

And now I’m sitting in Penn Station waiting for a train to upstate and looking at the departure board with route names like the Lake Shore Limited, Empire State Express, Silver Meteor and Ethan Allen. This mode of travel, plus all the dedicated people mentioned above have me thinking – about how good it used to be and how good it continues to be. It reminds me that the views are equally as important and impressive out the windshield and the rear-view mirror. And as good as things and people used to be back in the day, they’re every bit as good today.

My message this week is about creativity and innovation – qualities that have always been important.  Use these this week to be as successful as you want to be.

“A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.” -Frank Capra

Frank Russell Capra (1897 – 1991) was a Sicilian-born American film director and a creative force behind a number of films of the 1930s and 1940s.

When’s the last time you acted on a hunch? You probably have them all the time but actually doing something with one is not all that common. And where do these hunches come from: mostly from experience that leads you to believe that something is possible. It’s easy to get to that point but far more difficult to move beyond that to action because that takes confidence and competence and a willingness to try something that’s probably outside your comfort zone. But that’s where real creativity has the chance to flourish – it’s in that space where if you think you can, and want to try, then almost anything’s possible.  Writing, singing, researching, reporting, volunteering, analyzing, exploring, loving, painting, traveling, sporting, reading (and so many more) – any of these activities can be affected or improved by a hunch. Problem is: you’ll never know if it’s a good hunch unless you try and see what happens. So if that voice in your head is telling you to listen to and believe in your hunch, chances are you should. You just might be glad you did!

Stay Well and Have a Great Holiday Weekend!

Walk the Talk

 Walk the Talk

I love walking my two crazy Jack Russell terriers - and they love going for each and every walk. Once on the street, they’re intent on sniffing everything, to the point that it seems the point of the walk is not to walk but to discover all the wondrous things on the street. And whether you’ve two or four legs, discovering all of life’s wonders is this week’s point.

Trouble is, most of the time we’re so fixated on getting from point A to point B that we don’t stop to sniff all the interesting stuff that’s all around us:

• Because we’re often too busy to stop, too busy to listen, too busy to notice the things that could and should mean something, too busy to learn, too busy to really care.  
• Because we think that there’s something more important someplace farther on and we’ve got to get there before we miss it, while missing the things that are already here.  

But think about what do you do with what you find: do you really stop and study and admire it, do you learn all you can about it, do you share it with others, do you consider whether and how to improve it, do you treasure and nurture it OR do you just walk by with nothing more than a casual glance? Truth is, we know the answers to these questions and we know what’s the right thing to do: it’s called Walking the Talk (which I often think about when Walking the Dog).

Go ahead: consider all the resolutions and promises you’ve made and the hopes and expectations that others have of and from you and the dreams that you all have; make the most of these by knowing what you’ve found and what you should do with these and how they might affect others. It’s being true to what you know and that’s what Walking the Talk is. It leads to being what you know you should be or doing what you know you should do even when nobody’s around or looking. It’s about integrity. And at the end of the day or the end of your life, that’s all you’ll have. No reason to take your eye off that ball and negatively impact that – ever.  Absolutely no reason.

This past week I buried a dear friend and celebrated his life – the latter helped soothe the former. I also addressed a group of HR colleagues and got them to laugh and learn about the things they do and take for granted - the laughter helped them to refocus on and re-commit to their work. In each of these very different events the walk was eased by focusing on how to best Walk the Talk. These were microcosms of the broader lives we lead and it was good to be reminded of the bigger pictures that always surround us.

So whether you’re walking the dogs or just walking around by yourself, make sure you’re Walking the Talk today and every day. Easier said than done, I know, but no reason not to keep on trying. And any little bit you do today is better than none; and that’s the truth.

So the point this week is to lead a life of integrity and today’s quote and message is all about that:

“Conscience is a man's compass.”

-Vincent van Gogh

Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 – 1890) was a Dutch post-impressionist painter whose work had a far-reaching influence on 20th century art for its vivid colors and emotional impact. His sadness and depression mixed with an incredible talent and produced some of the most memorable Impressionist Art.

Do you have a compass? Growing up we had a compass in school that was used to draw a perfect circle. Then there was the pocket compass that came in the Cracker Jacks box that we used to find true North. These gadgets symbolized the best way to find our way and it’s not surprising they share a name and idea with what we use internally to find right from wrong. These paths are most often clearly marked but sometimes they’re not followed. So, what’s to stop us from veering off a path you know is right? It’s your conscience - that voice inside your head that’s constantly telling you to make the adjustments you know are needed. Do you listen to that voice? Do you note the readings on the moral compass that’s guided by your conscience? If you’re the kind who responds to the wrong signals or fails to note the obvious external signs or ignores the warning feelings in the pit of your stomach – stop what you’re doing, pay attention to these signs and react to your more real internal compass today. And let your conscience be your guide.

Stay well!

Rain or Shine

Rain or Shine

We all grew up with sayings like this but where did this phrase come from?  Certainly not Las Vegas or Southern California – there it’s mostly Shine or Shinier.  But here in New York City you never know from one day to the next or one hour to the next, if it will rain or shine. So you pay more attention to the weather and the sky and the forecast and those Doppler radar displays – and then you try to integrate all that information into who you are and what you’re planning. That’s complicated!  But again, this is not just about the weather.

The way I see it, weather is a lot like relationships, moods, tastes and behaviors.  These can be pretty stable and constant or they can change as often as a Northeastern sky.  

• Relationships can and should be based on trust and respect gained from growing to know others and this should create a foundation that is steady and secure. But if you don’t put in the time and effort to build this foundation it can end up falling like a house of cards. 
• Moods should be steady and somewhat predictable so others can rely on you to support or at least not upset what they’re doing. But if your mood changes quickly and often, think about how that can upset the environment and people around you.  
• Tastes are acquired, they’re cultivated over time and they’re reflected in how you react to what you eat and drink and feel about the world around you. If you don’t know what you like, how will you ever grow to enjoy things fully?  
• And behaviors – these are embedded in everything you do and they ultimately reflect who you are and how others perceive you. If you want to be trusted and respected, if you want to have the chance to do good things and make great friends, if you want to be a success at whatever you’re doing, then you’ll learn how to behave properly and effectively and pleasantly and humbly and respectfully. Remember: it’s not how you think you’re behaving but rather how others perceive it!

But if all of these change often like some kind of “interpersonal rain or shine” depending on some will or whim, how good do you think you’ll be, how many friends do you think you’ll have, how many co-workers and colleagues do you think will want to be with and loyal to you or how effective or successful do you think you’ll be???

• The weather may be uncontrollable but these things should not be.  
• The weather may change often and that may not be a bad thing but these things should be more reliable than that.  
• The weather may affect how you feel or act but in life you have to always be seen and perceived as steady and trustworthy and true.
• The weather may change but who and what you are to others should be something far more stable that they can count on.

While it’s okay to live in a place where it rains and shines, it’s not okay to be the kind of person whose behavior rains and shines. Be aware of your behavior and how it affects those around you. Control your interpersonal behaviors and make them shine more and rain less. And see how that affects your personal weather report.

 

This week’s quote and message are about professionalism and how that affects others:

“The first rule of holes: if your find yourself in one, stop digging.“   -Jack Dane

Jack Dane was a character played by Yale Summers in a TV series called Daktari (Swahili for Doctor) that aired between 1966 and 1969 on CBS.

Are you in a hole today? You probably don’t want to admit it if you are but look around and you’ll probably see lots of others in one too. The issue is not whether you are but what you do when you find you are.

Life has a way of creating holes that we might fall in – either because of something we’ve done or something that happened to us. But no matter what, you’ve got to stop and figure out why you’re there, come up with alternative approaches to try and get out and be open to and ready to listen to other’s ideas that may help reverse your fortunes.

The smartest professionals know that blind and dogged adherence to a failed strategy is just plain crazy. There’s no shame in adjusting, especially if it rights the course and ultimately results in success. The key to success in so many things is your ability to be flexible enough to adjust to the changing circumstances in which you find yourself. So stop digging today, be open to suggestions and change today and get out of that hole you’re in!

Stay well!