"Schnapps"

Here’s a Monday message to start this last week of 2010. Everywhere I went last week I saw people carrying gift bags into stores and businesses – everyone was giving gifts to family, friends, colleagues, casual acquaintances and even those they didn’t know personally but knew they were in need. This reminded me of when I was a kid and my father would buy several dozen bottles of “schnapps” (that’s how he referred to all types of liquor) and give them to his best customers.  He’d buy the bottles, package them in colorful bags or boxes, carefully fill out the to and from information on those little note cards and then load them all into his car for delivery.  As the youngest, I would sometimes get to accompany him as he visited these customers and expressed his thanks. The warmth and sincerity of these visits and the feeling behind the giving impressed me because these were not only the friends and family that I knew from my childhood; this gift giving was a whole lot more inclusive than that. And from this I learned that everyone matters when it comes to saying “thanks”. From this simple practice I learned several things: •    Treat your family like friends and your friends like family •    You shouldn’t wait for a special occasion to let people know that you care •    Simple gestures mean a lot •    A “thank you” goes a long way So, from these lessons comes the real meaning of this holiday season. It’s a time to be thankful for all that we have, to be mindful of what having family and friends means and to never overlook or take for granted those around you who give and mean so much to you. Take time today to make sure you’ve expressed these sentiments to all who matter. And if you haven’t, well it’s not too late because it’s never too late to let someone know that you care. My message this week has to do with actively participating in the things you do: “Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.” -George Jean Nathan George Jean Nathan (1882 – 1958) was an American drama critic and editor.  He graduated from Cornell University in 1904, where he was an editor of The Cornell Daily Sun. Noted for the erudition and cynicism of his reviews, Nathan was an early champion of Eugene O’Neill and co-authored with H.L. Mencken. Elections are the ultimate form of participation and Nathan is right about the effects of not voting. The same can be said about participating at work: think what might happen if you do not get involved and make suggestions, if you hang back and let other less qualified people struggle without your assistance, if you look the other way when mistakes are made or if there are questions that you fail to answer completely. If you do not participate fully in these kinds of situations they might not turn out as well as they could or should. If you do not do all you can then you’ll always wonder if your participation might have helped improve things. Make a commitment starting today to get fully involved and then actively participate in the things that are happening in your world.  Don’t allow bad things to possibly happen because you didn’t. Happy Holidays and Stay Well!

"Count Your Blessings"

When’s the last time you reached out to someone and told them something? Like how you feel or what you’re going through or fears and worries that you have or what you’re doing or about your hopes and dreams or just simply about what you’re doing.  Did you do any of these face-to-face, using your voice, using all your senses, responding and reacting while sharing a real physical space in real time? Or did you just log on and connect with them via one of the oh-so-many cyber channels available today? If you’re like most of us, you used Twitter or Facebook or email or text messaging or something that used one of many devices we all have and love. And just as likely, you missed a chance to really share the human experience.

I’m old fashioned enough to still believe that being and interacting with people in the flesh (as they say) is better than connecting in cyberspace. Oh sure, it’s easier in cyberspace (like this email message) but I think there’s something to be said for writing a letter and putting a stamp on it and sending it in the mail or picking up the phone and dialing the number and saying hi and then talking live or sitting down with someone and watching and listening to them with your eyes and ears and all the rest of your senses. Yeah, Skype is cool, but being in the same real space and time with someone is way cooler and a whole lot more satisfying. If we don’t watch out, one day soon we’ll all just be staying in bed with our WiFi connections rather than the human connections that are so much better. When those old AT&T commercials used to encourage us to “reach out and touch someone”, I don’t think they ever envisioned that we’d be doing it in such impersonal ways. In this holiday season, when family and friends are so important, reach out in a more human way: in-person. I think you’ll be glad you did.

In this holiday season, it’s important to be more human than not, and not-for-nothing, my message this week is about life’s blessings:

“Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”  -Charles Dickens

Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 – 1870) was the most popular English novelist of the Victorian era, responsible for some of English literature's most iconic characters (like Ebenezer Scrooge). The continuing popularity of his novels and short stories is such that they have never gone out of print.

Counting one’s blessings often leads to the question of whether the proverbial glass is half full or empty – this age-old reflection in many ways points out clues to a person’s personality and style. If you look back on the things you’ve done, the results they produced, their impact on others and the effect they had on your life, you can’t help but see and compare the good versus the bad. And therein lies the basic challenge of life: were any or all of these more good than bad? Which is it? And what then can or will you do about it? In the end, it’s probably better to be an optimist about things, to see the good things and try to improve upon them and to recognize the not so good and find ways to improve them too. Do that, and you’re likely to be seen and heard and respected as a real person. And that’s a good thing!

Stay well!

"We're not in Kansas Anymore"

I love to read books – the kind that are bound and you hold in your hands and whose real paper pages your turn with your fingers.  I love to go to the public library and browse the real stacks where the titles and covers fire my senses and imagination.  I read one or two books a week and while I get totally into the plots and characters in each while I’m reading them, I often quickly forget them when I’m done and onto the next.  So on one of my recent visits I asked the librarian if the library kept a record of the books I’ve read (I thought this would/should/could be easy to do) – she looked at me and exclaimed: “No – that would be an invasion of your privacy and could be used inappropriately”. I was shocked that in this computer age this simple service would not be provided; but then I thought about what she said and I sadly had to acknowledge that this was probably the unfortunate result of the politically correct and sensitive world in which we live.  I guess they figure I have to be protected from those who would seek to harm me.

And then I saw in the papers this week that Google joined the e-book craze and will start to offer books in “the cloud”.  They boasted that people like me can now get a book, start it on an electronic reader, pick it up later on a mobile device and even later on finish it on a computer – and each time it would remember where the reader left off.  Clever!  I bet my librarian friend would ask what else would or could be remembered; I bet she’d complain that the folks at Google might compromise the privacy and protection that she boasted of. But, that’s not what’s bothering me: I want to know what the hell is going to happen to those bound editions that I love to hold in my hands and read? Where is this world going? I have no idea where we’re headed or what else will be challenged and possibly changed; I just know that I want to continue to read and I hope that this fast-paced and innovative world in which we live doesn’t somehow screw up that little pleasure that I treasure so much. Like Dorothy, I guess we’re not in Kansas anymore.  And if that’s the case, can somebody please tell me where in fact we are, and more importantly, where we’re going?

Books that are printed and bound, like so many other things in and around our lives, are both beautiful and grand and thus, not surprisingly, my message this week is about grandeur.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” 

-Confucius


Confucius was a Chinese thinker and social philosopher, whose teachings and philosophy have deeply influenced Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Vietnamese thought and life.  His philosophy emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of social relationships, justice and sincerity.

I bet your mother taught you “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and that you learned at an early age that not everyone sees things the same way you do.  These are simple lessons that, once learned, are invaluable. You learn to appreciate the things you like and they become both familiar and attractive; they please you more than they do others. You most likely also find that as you talk about the things that please you, others may find them more or less pleasing than you. That’s because each of us is affected by the lives we lead and the experiences we’ve had and these leave impressions on us that are lasting, influential and indelible.  It doesn’t mean that anyone is more right than another; it just means that we each have our own opinions.  

Be open today and learn to see the beauty in others and to accept the things that they see and believe are beautiful, whether you see them or not.

Stay well (and warm)!

My Back Pages

"My Back Pages"

While channel surfing the other night I found John Sebastian’s infomercial on the folk music of the 1960s.  Having lived through that era I was amazed to see all the musicians from that time that are still at it (and what they look like) today.  Jesse Colin Young, Peter Paul and Mary, Pete Seeger, Judy Collins, Roger McGuinn, the Chad Mitchell Trio and Barry McGuire.  McGuire, whose website describes him as a prolific singer, songwriter, storyteller and truth-seeker, still sounds the same when singing The Eve of Destruction but he sure doesn’t look the same.  Bald head and a leather biker outfit are his brand today and although he certainly represented the counter-culture back then, he looks more like it today than he ever did back then.  But regardless of his looks now versus then, he still has and sings with the passion of a real minstrel. 

The 60s were when the term ‘counter-culture’ really got its meaning – protests were everywhere and ideas and mores were changing faster and more dramatically then than at any time in the past.  We tend to forget the magnitude and pace of those changes in light of today’s internet-based speed of change.  But back then it wasn’t  the speed of change as much as the magnitude of what was changing that made those times so historically memorable.  From the election of John Kennedy, the civil rights protests, ground-breaking legislation, the anti-war movement to the man on the moon, that was a decade to remember and the songs on this info-show sure highlighted all that went on when so many of us were coming of age.  If there’s one thing that characterizes and defines that era, it’s passion.  In all of its Day-Glo color and rhetoric, the passion of the 60s was real and definitely found in its music. 

So not surprisingly, my message this week is about passion.

“It's hard to beat a person who never gives up.” 

-Babe Ruth

George Herman Ruth, Jr. (1895 –1948), best known as "Babe" Ruth was an American Major League baseball player from 1914–1935. He became one of the first five players elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame and has since become regarded as one of the greatest sports heroes in American culture.

Do you give up easily?  Sports figures are judged every time they step up to the plate - they could give up after missing so many chances but most of the time they don’t quit – they just get ready for the next pitch.  And neither should you give up if things don’t go exactly as you’d hoped – because eventually, if you work hard enough and practice long enough, and prepare well enough – you might become unstoppable.  That requires a burning passion for the things you’re doing, because passion is not a one-time or every-now-and-then thing; it’s a never-quit and always-show-it attitude that leads you and others to the finish line.  And if you make it to the finish line you just might win.  But remember:  you can’t win unless you try and it’s hard to beat someone who tries passionately to win and never gives up.

PS: As the infomercial ended, Roger McGuinn was singing these words from the Bob Dylan classic My Back Pages: “oh but I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now”.  Amen.

Stay well!

"The Sand Beneath My Feet"

I often go to the beach to watch and listen to the waves.  Not having grown up near the ocean, I never knew much about the tides and how they affect the beaches. Now that I’ve lived in Laguna Beach a few years, I’ve begun to notice how storm tides erode and then rebuild these sea-side landscapes: first there will be endless sand and then there will be only the rocks that were previously hidden beneath.

The same can be said about the lives we lead: we think we know what’s going on and then things change.  And like the sand on the beach, most things are not entirely what they seem and subject to change. Take a moment on this Thanksgiving weekend to notice and be thankful for all that you have.  And realize that like the sand on the beach, all that you know and have can change in an instant.

My message this week is about loyalty – something to give judiciously and to then be thankful (especially during this holiday of Thanksgiving) for all that it gives you in return.

“Loyalty is something you give regardless of what you get back and in giving loyalty, you're getting more loyalty; and out of loyalty flow other great qualities.”

 -Charles Jones

All of the great values we read and write about seem to be interconnected and loyalty may be the one at the hub of them all.  Think of the people and things you’re loyal to and then note the other great qualities that come from that loyalty.  Friendship, success, pride, professionalism, integrity, team spirit and passion are a few that immediately come to mind.  These are the qualities and values that you hope to find in others, and certainly they’re the ones to which you aspire.  But to get loyalty you need to give it and that means you must be true to your work, forgiving in your nature and understanding in a complex and competitive world.  Look for ways to give loyalty today and then start to see the loyalty (and all those other great qualities) that comes back to you in return. And if I didn’t know better, I’d swear this was another way to describe and define The Golden Rule.

Colonel Charles Edward ("Chuck") Jones (November 4, 1952 – September 11, 2001) was a United States Air Force officer, a computer programmer and an astronaut in the USAF Manned Spaceflight Engineer Program.  He was killed in the attacks of September 11, 2001, aboard American Airlines Flight 11.

PS: a Google search produced several individuals with the name of Charles Jones, and while I am not exactly certain which one was the author of this quote, my head and heart wanted it to be the adventurer noted here.

Happy Thanksgiving. 

Stay well!

I'm Only Doing This For Your Own Good

I traveled to Phoenix this week to give a speech to a group of hospitality GMs and HR leaders.  The speech was about things your Mother told you that apply at work, like: “I’m only doing this for your own good”.  It’s fun to watch the reactions I get when I ask people to raise their hands if their mothers said this and other things like: “this hurts me more than it hurts you”.  These gems (and lots of others) can be found in a book called Momilies – As My Mother Used To Say by Michele Slung - I highly recommend it as a source of smart things you can say to remind colleagues and friends about what’s important.  But I digress.

In the audience was a woman I recruited 22 years ago to be an intern during the opening of the Mirage.  Back then she was a UNLV Hotel School sophomore who wasn’t sure what she wanted as her concentration; she ended up working for me for the three remaining years of her undergraduate program and then I lost track of her.  Fast forward 22 years and she’s now the Director of HR at a major Scottsdale resort, and she told me she credits her career and success to things I told her all those years ago.  The moral of this story is that you never know what impact the things you say and do might have on someone.  I was thrilled to see the professional she’d become and humbled by the knowledge that my efforts helped in her development.  Take time this week to reach out to someone and help them to find their way.

My message this week has to do with deciding where to go in life:

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the one who'll decide where to go.”  Dr. Seuss

To think like an owner, from your head to your shoes, is certainly something that that only the you that’s in you can choose.  For this you’ll need to work well with others and help them succeed, and always be looking to help with their needs. Also you must teach others to shut out the lights when there’s no one around, as you leap over tall hurdles in only one bound.  And at the day’s end when the work is all done, you’ll have steered a steady course for all and everyone – and they’ll know that you know the absolute way to go because you’ll have shown them all everything that they should all know.  So be an owner-like thinker from your head to your feet, and see how this helps you and your colleagues to never ever miss a beat.

Theodore “Dr. Seuss” Geisel was born in 1904 in Springfield, Massachusetts. His mother often soothed her children to sleep by "chanting" rhymes remembered from her youth. He credited his mother with both his ability and desire to create the rhymes for which he became so well known.

Stay well!

Two Heads Are Better Than One

Interesting experience this week: was asked to guest lecture in a class at Northwestern in Chicago; didn't have to travel because they had me "live" on Skype. Been doing some executive coaching: no longer a need to sit with someone, it is so much easier on Skype. Have always talked to my soon-to-be 90 year-old mother on the phone nearly every day: now she Skypes me. Like cell phones, Skype seems to be everywhere. It was founded in 2003 by a Swedish entrepreneur and developed by Estonian engineers - if that doesn't prove that the whole world is connected to this global economy then nothing will. 6.5 Billion people, all connected and working to change things - makes me feel like how my grandmother viewed airplane travel: I don't quite understand all of the wonder that is created around us. But I do know that we all must adapt to these changing times, and learn to use all the new ideas and tools that are available to us. Scary: yes; exciting: for sure; demanding: absolutely. And like exercise, this is what will keep us young and nimble and thoughtful as we bravely face each new day. Take time this week to look at what's coming from over the horizon - and learn all you can to be all you can.

My message this week is about the power of teams and the fact that "two heads are better than one".

“In order to have a winner, the team must have a feeling of unity; every player must put the team first -- ahead of personal glory.” Paul “Bear” Bryant

“Nothing but a winner”: that's how Bear Bryant described himself even before he broke the record that made him the "winningest" coach in the history of big-time college football. Every player on every team that he coached knew what victory demands of you every day of your life.

Big time coaches are always talking about “team”, and how there’s no “I” in team, and why everybody has to work as one in order for all to win. Every kid who ever watched the Three Musketeers learned about “all for one and one for all”. So when you go to work, or take on a chore at home, or play with friends, you know intuitively that it’s best to work together. You understand (like your mother told you) that “two heads are better than one”, and that “the load gets easier when everyone puts their shoulders to the wheel”. You know these things – so accept these truths, live them all the time, believe in them with all your heart, and let them create that feeling of unity that puts the team first – ahead of personal glory. That’s how to be a winner!

Stay well!