Respect is a two-way street...

Leaders may ask for loyalty, but they can’t demand it: it must be earned. And that’s sometimes a hard lesson for an inexperienced or unethical individual who’s in that role. There are countless examples of business leaders who fail because they don’t earn the respect, trust and loyalty of those they lead. Sometimes they’re bullies, seeking to force people to do things that make no sense or worse. Or they fail to listen to those who may know more than they do. Or they’re screamers who don’t like it when they don’t get their way, even when their way makes no sense or worse. Or they believe they’re the smartest person in any room, even with evidence to the contrary. Those kind of leaders feel superior and believe only in themselves; humble and secure leaders appreciate and believe in others. As a recruiter, I often ask candidates what they’re looking for in their next supervisor – genuine interest, trust, respect, and collaboration are the most frequent answers. If they find those attributes, they remain happily and productively employed, and freely give their loyalty; if not, they leave. And that’s happening more and more these days as the workforce becomes younger – they are not willing to suffer a foolish leader. The moral of this story: trust and respect others to earn their loyalty today.

 

János Hugo Bruno "Hans" Selye (1907 – 1982): Hungarian-Canadian endocrinologist who conducted important scientific work on the hypothetical non-specific response of an organism to stressors.

Don't be so quick to say "no"...

The construct of any governing or managing body or system depends on loyal opposition engaging with the majority in ways that bring out the best of consensus. As in “two heads are better than one”. The same holds true for organizational structures that bring diverse skills and perspectives meant to create strong discussions and stronger solutions. I realize that many believe they alone are right and that discussions are an unnecessary bother, but without it there’s no telling if the results are in fact the best. In our consulting, we often frame the need for and benefits of critical thinking, found less in telling than in listening, based less in certainty than in curiosity, and sharpened less because of little use than by constant whetting of the creative stone.  Active disagreement in a thoughtful and responsible way allows for critical analysis and potential improvement through constructive engagement. It’s less about criticism than it is a means of achieving excellence. It’s less about loyalty to a party, platform, person, or cause than it is to the common good (of a country or company). Ask yourself whether you’d rather be right or happy – the latter is situational and fleeting, the first is something worth working towards. And it’s not about winning or losing (although that’s a popular notion), it’s about creating something that is the best for all. In this light, it’s about being loyal to the notion of being intelligently, conscientiously, and respectfully engaged today.

 

Bainbridge Colby (1869 – 1950): American politician and attorney who was a co-founder of the United States Progressive Party and Woodrow Wilson's last Secretary of State.

Don't abuse the trust you're given...

Throughout our lives we associate with so many people – in all walks of life, near and far. And these associations create a tapestry of connections that weave throughout everything we do. So, for the most part we must rely on others. We watch and listen, we interact and react, and build up expectations – trusting they’ll do what they say, act with integrity, communicate when they can’t, and respect the incredibly complex set of interrelationships that keep thing going as promised. It’s crazy to think it will all go accordingly, but it’s a surprise, and a hurt when it doesn’t. When that happens, things start to fray and unwind because it’s hard to continue to trust once someone’s broken this faith. And because things are moving so quickly it’s hard to get back to a point where you can reestablish that trust. But I’m not naïve; it happens – to all of us, and sometimes by all of us. This is where communication, maybe over communication, comes in – let others know when and why you can’t or won’t, pick up the phone and do it person to person (nothing’s worse than learning about this second hand), and then work extra hard to apologize and try to get it back. It’s bad enough when it happens… but worse when it’s followed by a cavalier attitude. Nobody likes the first, but everyone should hate the second. Work hard to live up to the trust that others have placed in you today.

 

William Shakespeare (1564 – 1616): English playwright, poet, and actor. He is widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist.

Don't let loyalties come between us...

This week’s messages will be about loyalty – something we usually associate with companies and their customers, and what they do to keep them coming back for more. But in our greater society, loyalty sometimes is associated with politics. Neither is necessarily bad so long as we appreciate and respect a personal choice that shouldn’t be termed good or bad – it is what it is, so long as it’s vied for honestly. As in, say what you mean, mean what you way, and do what you promise. During my formative years, truth in advertising was the rule, and I think it still should hold true. No confusion. No obfuscation. If you like what you hear, you offer your loyalty; if not, it’s a free world. And a competitive one, where the easiest and most powerful way to increase loyalty from anyone is really very simple. Make them happy. And know that they get to vote with their feet. I vote that we keep this in the marketplace – where it involves companies and their products and services and customers, not in the world of politics, where it can get between families, friends, neighborhoods, and communities. That way we can work hard and still be friends today.

 

Kevin Stirtz (born 1963):  American marketing pro known as ‘the Amazing Service Guy’, a speaker and trainer who helps companies increase revenue and profits by delivering amazing service.

Everyone is trying to find their way - be kind...

As you know, I search for quotes to use with these daily messages – they give insight and hopefully impetus to our individual self-improvement efforts and provide a general theme for each respective message. I usually know of each author and in many cases am familiar with the quote – but not today. The story of St. Ambrose is fascinating (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambrose) and the quote is more instructive than many. It’s the kind of statement a parent might discuss with their children and ask how it might affect their behavior; it’s one that I might use in a management class on professionalism and ask my student’s how it might be applied at work; and it’s one we might discuss with each other in search of ways to be better human beings. There are far too many instances in real life of talking down to others, mocking them, and being too full of ourselves – nothing good or productive comes from those kinds of selfish and thoughtless acts. The sooner people learn that no one heals him or herself by wounding another, the better off everyone and every interaction will be. I’d have loved to put this in the employee handbooks I created to go along with the Golden Rule I included in some of the later and more enlightened ones. Because the more we treat others the way we each want to be treated, the better our world will be. Heal yourself by healing others today.

 

Ambrose of Milan (339 – 397), venerated as Saint Ambrose, was a theologian and statesman who served as Bishop of Milan from 374 to 397. His preaching, his actions and his literary works, in addition to his innovative musical hymnography, made him one of the most influential ecclesiastical figures of the 4th century.

Teach your children (and your employees) well...

bully

bul·ly

/ˈbo͝olē/

verb

   gerund or present participle: bullying

1.     seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable). 

2.     the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing, comments, or threats, to abuse, aggressively dominate, or intimidate one or more others. 

3.     this behavior is often repeated and habitual.

 

When I was young, I was usually the shortest, and sometimes the heaviest kid in the groups of friends I hung around with. I got my share of taunting – sometimes good naturedly, sometimes not. From there, it was hard to find a path to being cool. But my parents encouraged me to shake it off and prove my mettle by hard work and perseverance. I learned and adapted, but it wasn’t easy or fun. So, I’m especially sensitive to bullying and in my professional life intervened whenever I saw it, not by force but rather by helping those participating in the abuse to stop and learn from each other. But I’m not naïve – it happens often, and it takes role models to thwart and re-direct that behavior. As leaders, we must learn to be aware of how others are feeling and to bring people together to learn about each other and build relationships. Everyone wants to feel accepted – and this goes equally for the bully and the bullied. Never overlook this form of abuse – if you don’t accept it, it can’t flourish. Use your standing, stature, and life experience to teach people to be kind and respectful to others. Despite whatever else is going on, use your place in the workplace to make it the best place to address this ugly behavior today. 

 

Caroline Bouvier Kennedy (born 1957): American author, diplomat, and attorney; she served as the United States ambassador to both Australia and Japan.

Support diversity of thought...

                moral authority

                        noun

                            : trustworthiness to make decisions that are right and good

 

There are many different opinions about what is right and good. That’s called diversity of thought, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Meaning we all should respect each other’s point of view. Respect being the operative word. And the standard everyone should be held to is honesty – honest about what they say and do. No need to make up stories trying to support your view – that tends to diminish its truthfulness and your standing. If something is true, let it stand on that. And if someone believes it, don’t try to demean them – that only demeans you. And just because someone has a different view doesn’t make them bad… or necessarily wrong. Regardless, it should never come between family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. You may respectfully disagree, but you should never be disagreeable. Because whatever else is going on, how we act at work – with our company, colleagues, and customers, must be based a moral authority that comes from following timeless principles like honesty, integrity and treating people with respect. Leave your differences at the door and build on the common goals that unite you and your colleagues. Keep the workplace as a bastion of moral authority today.

 

Stephen R. Covey (1932 – 2012): American educator, author, businessman, and speaker. His most popular book is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.