Friday, November 22, 2013



For those born before November 22, 1963, there was hope.  The world was changing, but everyone felt that our best days were ahead, and in that there was hope.  But then came that fateful day, and hope didn’t seem so eternal.

For those alive on this date 50 years ago, where we were and what we were doing became forever etched in our memories when word of the assassination of JFK flashed across the news.  That memory became mingled with other images of those times: a young President and his wife beginning their day in Dallas; an open limo passing a building; a club owner in a hat shooting the alleged assassin; a young son saluting his fallen father; and an eternal flame.  The nation optimistically supported their leaders and new styles of music, clothes, cars and culture pointed us hopefully towards the future.  And then hope seemed to come to a halt.

Walter Cronkite cried on TV, regular people cried on the street, and we sat in front of our TVs and cried while we watched this incredible event unfold.  Those next 4 days were filled with shock and sadness: if you weren’t there, it’s hard to imagine how stunned and shocked the nation was, or how a single tragic act could so totally change our outlook on life and…. hope.

It’s been 50 years, and yet after all this time the memory of that day still looms large in our minds.  And even though there have been other shocking events since then: the assassinations of Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr., the Vietnam war, the Iranian hostages, the Oklahoma City bombing, 9/11, and so many more (both big and small), the one that happened on this day 50 years ago today seems to represent “the day, the music died” (thank you Don McLean and Bye Bye Miss American Pie).

But all the recent documentaries on the life and legacy of JFK remind us that hope really is resilient.  The images from that event so long ago faded quickly as life went on, and over time those were replaced by the ebb and flow of the regular things that happen, and because we’re all optimists at heart, hope was re-born, re-kindled, and re-established – life does go on after terrible events, and while the memories never go away, the challenge and belief in new horizons help us to go on. Because no matter how long or short a life, it’s only one of many in our vast universe, and if any of those lives is well lived, then, like a comet, it leaves a bright streak across the sky to help light the way for the rest of us.  And in that light there is: hope.

My message this week is based on one of the many quotes from JFK:

“We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.” John F. Kennedy

We still mourn the death of JFK all those years ago and still marvel at the affect his words continue to have on us after all these years:  asking not what the country can do for us but rather what we can do for the country, responding to the cold war by challenging America to put a man on the moon; and asking us to overcome our prejudices and promote civil rights.  Those were different and difficult times, and as shocking and riveting as those events were, they quickly became part of the larger and continuing patchwork that represented all the times of our lives.  

Looking back now it’s amazing how things like the Beatles’ first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show just 3 short months later helped us to go on and focus on both the here and now and the future. In hindsight is the understanding that all of the things we experience allow us to keep going and to have hope. The people we meet, the friends and colleagues we have, and the families we love: they all form the nucleus of the lives we lead. And the lesson is this is that no matter what, we must always find time to thank the people who make a difference in our lives.

Stay well!

Friday, November 15, 2013



I was born in 1950, and for years dreamed of being 50 at the turn of the 21st century.  I imagined there would be immense personal and world changes when the clock stuck 12 on that millennium; but as we all now know, the hype was more than the reality.  But what’s happened since then has been pretty amazing and fulfilling.

In the intervening years, I opened more hotels, spent time in Las Vegas, China, Laguna Beach, New York City, and the Adirondack Mountains, met lots of interesting people and clients, played a ton of music, became an avid blogger, read voraciously, and enjoyed the arrival of a granddaughter. 

And now, 13 years after that millennial milestone, it’s the 50th anniversary of my bar mitzvah; in fact, I celebrated that momentous event 50 years ago this weekend.  50 years ago tonight I began the transition from being a boy to becoming a man.  That ritual, which most young Jewish men and women go through on their 13th birthday, is similar in many ways to other rituals that mark the passage to adulthood.  And while it was cool to think that adulthood starts at 13, I’ve since realized that it only begins then. 

For me that beginning began by reading from the Holy Scriptures in Hebrew, then making a speech, opening lots of presents and having a fun party.  But now I realize that the best part of that event was the awakening of my sense of religion, and then learning things that have stayed with me all these years.  On that weekend so long ago, I read the only portion of the Torah named for a woman (Sarah, the wife of Abraham), and how she shaped the history of the Jews. I recently found the speech about this that I gave back then, and it spurred lots of memories and got me thinking about the richness of life after all these years.

And now, on this 50th anniversary of that long ago event, I’m literally standing by for the arrival of my second granddaughter.  As I write this, my daughter is down the Hospital hall giving birth…. to a girl, and this is reminding me about the women in my life and the woman in that Torah reading.  Sometime tonight my 92 year-old Mother will have a new great granddaughter, and my wife of 37 years will have a new granddaughter, and my 34-year old daughter will have a second daughter, and her 18 month-old Daughter will have a sister.  Life really does go on, and truly is a blessing!

My message this week is about enjoying the wonders of life:

“Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious.” Ruth Reichl

Every day is full of experiences, challenges, and opportunities.  Those experiences are nothing if you aren’t aware of them, and wide open to their breadth and depth, and possibilities.  They often present challenges because without a crystal ball we can’t predict what’s going to happen, and must be ready to react appropriately and effectively.  And rather than thinking of these as distractions, we should see them as opportunities to do great things.  There’s rarely a day that isn’t filled with one or all of these elements, and there’s excitement and renewal in each and every one of them.  If you find a day that’s missing one or more of these, it’s probably something lacking in you rather than the day itself.  If that happens, stop and examine what in you may be obscuring them.  Then pull up a chair, take a taste, and join fully in your endlessly delicious life!

Stay well!